Stan’s Insights

A Personal Note from Stanley

Professionally, I am a veterinary graduate from the University of Nairobi with a Master’s degree and a Doctorate in Parasitology from Oklahoma State University. Some of my friends know me as “The Okie from Nairobi!” But I am not defined by my profession. None of us are parents or spouses by profession. Yet we spend a significant amount of our lives in marriages and in raising children – much more time than we spend in our professions. The lessons I have learnt on the job and from studying the scriptures have given me many insights. I have shared some in my book “Raising future Parents”

I have received input from my disciplers and mentors since the age of 19. If certificates were to be awarded in the skills I have received over the years, I would probably have two PhDs in the field!

“Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward”. 

This truth from Psalms 127:3 begs a reaction from parents. Since children are a reward from God and since He saw their unformed substance (Psalm 139:16) and knit them together in the womb (Psalm 139:13), what on earth does he want me to do with them? In what family environment does he want me to raise them? Is raising children today any different from 20 years ago?

Is there a problem with “today’s children”?

What is the constant about schools that excel? The students are the variable – they study, graduate and leave. The teachers and school management are the constant. What is the constant in profitable companies? Employees join, others leave and some retire. They are the variable. Management is the constant. What is the constant in teams that win? The players are the variable. The coach is the constant. When a team fails to win, the coach resigns (or is fired). It is understood that a different coach can transform a losing team to a winning one. But it need not take a different coach to transform a team. In “Facing the Giants” coach Grant Taylor, a losing coach with an underdog football team faces their giants of fear and failure on and off the field to surprising results. The coach went through a transformation that resulted in his team’s revolutionary performance.

Like one pulling weeds in a garden, he identified the issues and dealt with them. His loving wife stood by him the whole time – even when she had her own issues to deal with!

“What is wrong with children these days?” 

A frustrated parent of a stubborn teen asked me one day. Nothing. They just need to be raised. Unfortunately, some people have children but do not wish to be parents. Some parents provide for their children but don’t wish to raise them. Some wish to raise their children but simply have no idea how. Their reference point is marred by negative childhood experiences.

Our brains are like the memory stick of a camera and our eyes and ears the lenses and microphones. We go through life recording what we hear and see. Often we have no idea what we have recorded until an event or a discussion triggers a memory. Once the memory is triggered, we re-live the moment that may have happened decades back as if it had just happened. Memories of our childhood are often triggered as we raise our own children (or those entrusted to our care). And some of these memories can be painful. We are products of our past but our future need not depend on that past because we can make decisions today that affect the future.

This website and our publications will expose you to a revolutionary way of thinking and cause you to desire personal transformation. Your children will become the beneficiaries of your transformation. The principles we teach are based on the bible. Some may find this offensive. But you will agree with me that the world is groping in the dark for answers to bewildering questions including issues related to child raising, while discarding the very source of those answers.

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